A woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two Double-A batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, "Come this way," and heads towards the back of the store.
"If I could come that way," she tells the retreating clerk, "I wouldn't need the batteries."
Mickey and Minnie Mouse were getting a divorce. The judge told Mickey, "I'm
sorry, Mickey, but I can't grant you a divorce just because you think that your
wife is stupid."
"Your honor," Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was stupid. I said
she was fucking Goofy."
One night a man asks his wife for sex.
"No," she says, "I'm going to the
gynocologist tomorrow and I want to be fresh."
The man thinks about this for
a moment, and then replies, "Your not going to the dentist too, are you?"
Two little girls playing with a ball in the garden. The ball rolls under a nearby
bush so one of the little girls crawls under to get it out. Unfortunately it's a
thorn bush, and she gets a thorn stuck in her finger.
Crying, she runs indoors
shouting "Mummy Mummy, I've got a thorn in my finger. Quick, get some apple
juice!"
Mum says, "But why do you want apple juice - wouldn't a bandage be
better?"
"Well," the little girl replied,"I was playing with Rosie, and her big
sister says that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she just has to put it in cider."
Two guys are riding to work on the bus. They both see two dogs goin' at it on
a lawn. One guy, who's married, looks at the other and says, "Jeez, I'd give
anything to do it to my wife like that."
The other, a single guy, says, "Heck,
that's easy. Just feed her three martinis."
The same two guys are riding the
bus to work the next morning. The single one asks the other, "Well, did you
get to do it to your wife doggie style?"
The married guy replies, "Yes, but it
took SIX martinis."
The single guy exclaims, "SIX martinis! How come so
many?"
The husband says, "Hell, it took three just to get her out on the front
lawn.
A guy stops over his friends house and only the wife is home. As she invites him
in, he shocks her by saying, "I'll give you $100 if you show me one of your breasts."
She ponders the idea for a moment, and then, remembering how she's been wanting to replace the old carpet, she agrees, and shows him one.
The husband's friend pulls another $100 bill out of his pocket and
says, "I'll give you this other hundred if you show me your other breast."
She's been wanting new drapes too, and so agrees, and shows him the other one.
Hubbie's friend says, "That was really nice," thanks her
and leaves.
When her husband gets home she tells him that his buddy stopped
over, and he says, "Great... did he drop off the $200 he owes me?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thunder Walk Productions
® All rights
reserved
 |
| Site hosted for free by Kinghost.com |
